In the past week I’ve had people ask me about homeschooling my kids and seem shocked to hear me say it is easy and enjoyable. My days of long, passionate explaining in the hopes of inspiring another towards this path are over. The usual response I hear: “Each to their own, I couldn’t do it” is fine by me.
As much as I love to share about this way of life that has brought me so much joy and intimacy with my family, I am not responsible for how others live their life. I have lost the urge to convert others or convince them of a better path. I can sense when I am in the presence of someone genuinely inspired and intrigued, and simply no longer have the energy to share with anyone not truly interested or open to this way of life.
There was a time when I felt very differently. When I first began homeschooling my children all I wanted to do was shout it to the world before I had even had the chance to process our new life and the lessons that were yet to come with it. I was convinced that everyone must do it this way and that I could somehow change their minds if I tried hard enough. I felt I had to prove myself to the world.
But now I agree; not everyone can do it, but we can and we do. What’s more important to me today is sharing my own truth about my life and not what everyone else’s truth should be. For a long time I believed that any kind of sharing had traces of agenda hidden within in, aimed to make others wrong. I now know that whatever compels me to share is an inability to withhold the secrets to such a happy family life that have unfolded and astounded me. As much as I have tried to keep them to myself, I have failed miserably.
While I am happy to agree with someone who states that having this freedom in their lives is unattainable, unimaginable, and impossible, I am happy to share just how I got here and how I continue to feel a deeper sense of peace, relaxation and beauty as a mother of four homeschooled children. If others feel the way they do, I do not want to take their reality away from them.
But for us, this journey was about realising we wanted something more than what was on the surface, and we wanted to give that to our children too. I didn’t want my conversations with others to only be about how work or school was, or how little money we had no matter how hard we worked. I didn’t want to talk about life in a way that felt like it was lacking freedom or a repetitive schedule of getting up, going to school/work, coming home, having dinner and going to bed, only to get up the next day and do it all over again. I also didn’t want to feel that way anymore.
So we re-created our lives. First with allowing our two eldest to leave school ~ much to their excitement, leaving a 9-5 job to study and do the things we really loved to do, and travel the country, living only on the bare minimum. Others thought we were crazy for giving all of it up…the security, money and stability for spontaneity, adventure and the unknown.
So for those who really want to know how this is the easier way ~ having your kids at home with you all day long, being responsible for their education, not having much money…it’s easier because it is hard work being unhappy! I will admit that living in a caravan long term with five other people and a bunch of pets was not the easiest of times, but as for the parental responsibility it’s simple. I allow them to be responsible for their own lives.
Teaching my children from home is easy because there is no teaching. This can be difficult to understand which is why I keep it short and simple when others ask. Giving my children the space to teach themselves through their own interests not only takes the load off of me but builds confidence and empowerment in them. It’s been a very long time since I have taught them anything they themselves have not asked to learn, because it isn’t the natural way. Too many years have gone by witnessing them self educating themselves to ever go back to believing it should be any other way. They have all taught themselves to read, write, count and have such a broad understanding in all subjects of interest.
The common assumption I left behind, both in the school system and traditional homeschooling is that we must educate our children on everything and fill in the gaps in knowledge ourselves, not leaving any room for them to fill in those gaps with their own wisdom and life lessons, believing we as the adults and teachers hold the key to all their knowledge and power to succeed in life. If only we were willing to take a step back long enough to trust and open ourselves to witnessing the great power already within them, guiding them towards their own success.
What’s easy about homeschooling is no longer feeling the pressure of having to shape and manage my children by dictating who they should be and what they should know. By realising I wanted to create my life in a way that matched my highest joy and potential, I was able to guide my children to do the same. Having happy kids who enjoy their life makes life as a parent so much easier. What’s enjoyable about it is watching what unfolds in the presence of such freedom. May we all come to know this freedom in our lives ~ however that may look.
I no longer refer to our life as homeschooling. It is ordinary living ~ simple and natural.
~ Leisa ❤
Leisa Coleman 