During my time as an Early Childhood Educator working in the childcare industry, I learned many valuable lessons around rest times, what does and doesn’t work, and how to manage this period during the day in ways that are less stressful than the usual approach.
I witnessed many things associated with rest times that seemed overwhelming for educators and traumatic for some children, and I too experienced my own share of overwhelm and frustration around this transition. I too took this out on the children at times, which always left me feeling guilty and that I had failed them. I knew that something had to change and was determined to find a better approach.
The most common approach to rest times in childcare is to make all children go to sleep, and to become angry and forceful towards them when they do not fall asleep within a certain time frame. We can understand this in our own lives as parents, when we set a bedtime for our own children and become stressed when they don’t go to sleep when we want them to. To read about my own challenges around bedtimes with my children and how I overcame them, see my blog post: Why My Children Don’t Need a Bedtime.
Our beliefs around sleep and the messages we learned from our own parents can shape the way we deal with bedtimes and rest periods. If we learned that we needed to sleep when we were told and would get into trouble if we didn’t, we will likely react in the same way with the children in our care. Perhaps we have observations or day stories to write. Perhaps it’s the time of day when we clean up the room for the afternoon pick-up. Maybe we just need a time-out to sit still and not have to direct the children constantly.
The demands from the childcare system itself, unrealistic ratios, and too many obligations piled onto us as educators can be behind a lot of this stress we experience during rest time. We have a duty to put children down to sleep, keep the room quiet, and these strict routines and rules can cause us to feel pressured to make sure we create a successful rest period. This is not always going to be the case though, and here’s why:
• Too many children in one room
It can be difficult for children to get to sleep with lots of other children in the same room. Some children could be restless or noisy, and this can affect the children who do need or desire sleep.
• Not all children need sleep
Every child is different. They each have individual sleep needs according to their own internal body clock. While we may believe they need to sleep, their bodies may be saying something else. No-one can sleep on demand; sleep comes when we are relaxed and not feeling pressured to do so.
• Too many distractions
Perhaps there are sounds that children aren’t used to, or others talking in the room. If educators are busy trying to clean while children are trying to sleep, it is only natural that they may want to see what’s going on and what others are doing. Perhaps there is too much light coming in from a window or educators coming in and out of the room.
• Anxiety or feeling unsafe
When children don’t feel safe or comfortable, it can be difficult for them to fall asleep. If educators are yelling at them or demanding they go to sleep, this will only make it harder for them to. Forcing children to do things does not work, because this creates anxiety and a feeling of unsafety within them. When any of us are on high alert, have a raised heart rate or feel the anger from others, it is only natural that we will not be in a state of relaxation that enables sleep.
• Not being at home
A child’s routine at daycare is often different to that at home. This is why it’s important in childcare that educators get on board and become familiar with the child’s normal sleep routines and try to match that as closely as possible. Often, childcare centres do not create a home-like environment for children to adapt to and feel safe, and wonder why the children don’t comply or do things that they are not used to doing.
There could be other reasons that rest routines don’t always work for educators; these are just a few that stood out to me during my time working in a centre. I know very well the pressures educators are under, and that many of them feel they have no other choice than to be controlling, demanding and stressed out! To learn more about my experience with rest time in a childcare centre, you can watch my video titled: Do All Children Need Sleep During Rest Time?
My experience of stressful rest times changed completely once I became the Lead Educator of the Pre-Kindy room of 22 children. Many of these children had been in my care the previous year before they moved up, so I was familiar with their sleeping habits and behaviors around rest time. I noticed a link between certain behaviors and rest times in some of the children, and my goal was to change the approach to rest times, create more harmony and ease for both the children and educators, and to reduce these unwanted behaviors.
Through many weeks and months of trial and error, here are the things I implemented to create healthy, positive rest times for the children, that actually worked!:
• I stopped making all children sleep
The first thing I did as part of my new approach to rest times was completely remove any notion of sleep for the children who exhibited anxious, rebellious behaviors. Even if some of them still needed sleep according to other educators or parents, I stopped putting a bed out for them and allowed them to stay awake playing quietly in another area, or I offered a bed instead, telling them they didn’t need to lay down, but could play with a toy quietly. If they anxiously refused the bed, I would not put one out.
I immediately noticed the change in energy in these children! They became calm and happy, they grew closer to me and began to trust me. They became kinder towards the other children and their aggression subsided.
• I communicated with the parents
I began asking each family individually about their child’s sleep routine at home and what their sleep needs were. I was shocked to hear that some of these parents were not aware that their child was being made to sleep, especially if they had already grown out of their daytime naps. I asked them what they wanted for their child and if they could get on board with accepting and allowing their child to stay awake if they were showing signs of resisting sleep. I worked with the parents to find a balance that everyone was happy with, and continued to support certain children to sleep without making it stressful.
• I stopped listening to other educators
Many educators would remind me that they had worked in childcare a very long time and knew that all children need to sleep. I was often treated as though I knew very little, considering I hadn’t worked in childcare long. I had to stop listening to what they believed was right in order to listen to my own intuition and do things in a way that felt good to me and everyone else in the room. It’s not easy going against the “normal” structures and perspectives of the majority, but all I had to remember was that this was about the children; not about what was “right” or “wrong.”
Eventually, the children showed me that they didn’t need to be told when they were tired or needed to sleep, and began to come to me and tell me. If this was outside of rest time, I would continue to support their sleep needs and allow them to lay down on a cushion and go to sleep, despite being told this was not the way we usually did things.
• I reflected on my own perspectives and let go of unhealthy beliefs
When I had a bad day and had tried to force children to sleep, I would allow my emotions to come up and be felt. I would reflect on how I had treated the children and how I responded to stressful situations and always had the goal of doing better. I thought about where my thoughts or feelings were coming from and continued to face them in myself to find healing. I worked with mentors and therapists to work through the difficult feelings and stress I was under, to help me cope better in my job and react in more healthy, positive ways.
• I made rest time enjoyable and something the children looked forward to
After some time implementing my new strategy for rest times, all of the children anticipated rest time, and would look forward to this part of the day. Eventually, even those children who I stopped giving a bed to would ask for a bed. Each child wanted a bed, and I had created a rest time routine that was joyful and relaxing. The following points are some ways that I made rest time enjoyable:
• Counting down from 100
I would ask the children to lay still and listen to the counting. I found that by the time I had reached 0, some of the children had gone to sleep.
• Telling a story
I would ask the children to stay on their beds and rest as I told them a story or made one up.
• Toys on their beds
Often, the children would be excited to choose an activity or a toy they could hold on their bed, sometimes eventually falling asleep on their own.
• Having the TV on
This helped all children to get some down time and rest their bodies, especially those who didn’t sleep and were always active. The children who needed sleep would fall asleep despite the TV being on, and the children looked forward to this time of day when they could lay down, snuggle in their blanket and watch something enjoyable.
• Laying down with the children
Rather than always get up to clean or get duties done, I would lay on a cushion with the children, and often they would come and lay down next to me and cuddle. Children like to feel secure and loved, and having this during rest time can make them feel at home and relaxed. They also learn through example. Rather than tell the children they must sleep and do something different to me, I would make it a “we” thing and demonstrate resting to them.
Although these healthy, positive strategies for rest time benefited the children, I also had to accept and embrace the changes in the children as they grew older. By the end of the year, most of the children were not sleeping, simply because they no longer needed to. Some parents and educators still resisted the changes in the children, but at some point we need to accept that children don’t stay the same forever. They do grow up, and while it may still be important to support children to have that time of rest and stillness throughout the day, it is just as important to have faith in them and trust that they know when they need to rest, and be there for them when they ask for it, rather than force it.
It is my hope that we come to make sleep and rest times a positive experience for children and ourselves, so we can break these unhealthy cycles and create a more loving future for all.
With love,
Leisa.
Leisa Coleman 