Educator Meldowns

𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙗𝙪𝙩𝙚𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙀𝙙𝙪𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙨 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙚𝙡𝙩𝙙𝙤𝙬𝙣𝙨?

Oftentimes, as an educator trying to run a large room of children, it is easier to blame others – whether it’s the staff or the children – for the overwhelm we experience, rather than to turn inward towards ourselves to question what it is we are truly thinking and feeling.

There are many things that contribute to the high levels of stress working in a public childcare centre. Some of these include:

• Lack of staff due to the unrealistic Educator to Child ratios
• Too many children in one room
• Too many rules and regulations to follow
• A strict, inflexible routine
• Disruptive children
• Forcing children to co-operate
• Lack of support/encouragement from management
• Lack of coping skills

In order to develop skills for coping in these conditions, we must be in a place of self-discovery, learning and self-awareness. This means being aware of the beliefs and expectations we hold about children and their behaviors.

There is a reason it is difficult to control children: They are naturally wired to learn and develop their own skills in a non-controlling way. The more control we try to have over them the more out of control they will become. This may not be noticed until they experience moments of freedom. Rather than remain controlled and “tame” they will rebel in unhealthy ways.

The main cause of educators having meltdowns and being unable to cope with the routines and children is the kind of approach and practices that are used. The kind of approach and practices we use to manage the room and the children will be dependent on our own conditioning; our beliefs and perspectives.

In our studies around childcare, we are encouraged to reflect on these ways of seeing and responding to children, however, I rarely saw this during my time working in a public centre. I feel it should be encouraged and followed up regularly by management, as these children’s well-being and emotional development depend on it.

If we have come from a background growing up with strict rules and little freedom to be ourselves, this is what we will believe is true unless we question it. We will inflict these same rules and beliefs onto the children. We will believe things like:

• Children should listen and do as they are told
• Children shouldn’t eat whenever they want
• Children need to sleep
• Children don’t know what’s best for them
• Children should grow up and become independent
• Children shouldn’t get to choose what they want to do
• Children shouldn’t backchat or say “No”
• Children shouldn’t fight
• Children should learn to share
• Children shouldn’t cry or throw tantrums

These are just a few of the perspectives we may hold about children that we ourselves were taught by our own teachers, parents and society. We may not yet realise that we get to choose whether or not to hold onto these beliefs, and that beliefs can be changed.

In order to change a belief we must first become aware of it. We can do this by asking ourselves whenever we are faced with strong reactions or emotions towards a child “What do I believe about this situation or child right now?” We can also ask ourselves “What do I believe about myself right now?”

The reality is that no one can place these emotions inside of us; they are already there. Strong emotions and triggers in the face of children can be an invitation to acknowledge and face unhealed traumas in ourselves. Children tend to mirror back to us our own inner child whose needs were not met by our carers. We may have been deeply hurt by the control and lack of freedom or expression as children and suppressing this pain our whole lives.

There is a reason that having a more authoritarian approach to childcare doesn’t feel good: It doesn’t match who we truly are. We ourselves are naturally wired to be free from control and to live in a peaceful, benevolent way, but we think we need to do it in the same way it was taught to us. The first step in creating a more stress-free experience as an educator is to change our approach. To do this, we first must have a desire to discover who we truly are and heal our own painful upbringing.

Then, we may be able to understand the behaviors and needs of children better and actually be in a position of helping them to develop in healthy, positive ways. The level of expertise as an educator should not be dependent on the years of experience or qualifications. It should be dependent on the level of self-awareness and reflective practices.

As a mother myself, I have had to learn these hard lessons with my own children over the years. I also had to learn this in a childcare environment with other children.

It is my wish for all children to become free from the conditioning that overlooks the beauty and innocence of childhood. May we all begin the path to self-discovery and create a more joyful world for our children!

Leisa ❤️